Is it still me?
by Domcia880
Summary: Gintoki was surprised seeing Shinsengumi at the usual client spot on their sofa, asking him for help. Fem!Hijikata
1. Chapter 1

I've always wanted to write some Gintama ff, and since I love fem!Hijikata, I made something like this.

Sorry for any mistakes, but I tend to sleep in my english classes.

* * *

The Shinsengumi trio were sitting silently on a couch at Yorozuya apartment. Across them the other couch was occupied by Gintoki and kids, and even Sadaharu found a way to fit between them just to look at those unusual guests.

The whole situation felt just weird, not only because the Odd Jobs didn't expected to have such clients, but also there was a woman between Sougo and Kondo-san, wearing the same uniform as them. And this was definitively weird according to Gintoki. He didn't remember any women in Shinsengumi, what more he thought that it was prohibited for them to join.

"Emm..." Shinpachi was the first person to break the silence. "I don't know if I heard right, Kondo-san. You need us to help you, right?"

"Yes" he answered, arms across his chest. He shut his eyes, nodding repeatedly.

"But..."

"Who is it"? asked Kagura, stealing questions from Shinpachi's mouth and pointing her finger at the girl. In other hand she had sukonbu she was chewing a moment ago. "Oi, Gorilla. I hope you haven't started any harem at the barracks. And you call yourself a cop? I wonder how we can take an example from a bunch of greedy bastards like you!"

"Kagura-chan, what are you saying?!" yelled Shinpachi, not believing his own ears. He got up from the couch immediately, what caused Sadaharu to flop down on the floor.

"What?" The Yato looked at him with innocent eyes. "Gin-chan says that often."

And then there was a silent again, they could only hear their breaths and quiet rattles made by Sadaharu, who lost his interest in this little show and chose to pace across the room without reason. Not even Gintoki dared to make any noise because those were Shinsengumi, the bastards who could arrest you without any reason, the bastard who can do what the fuck they want, the bastards who...

"Gin-chan also says that they're the bastards who...mmm!" A hand went to Kagura's mouth to silent her.

"Shut the fuck up, you little glutton!"

Gintoki sweatdropped. He had to keep this stupid girl from speaking unnecessary things because Sougo started looking behind the sofa to probably pull out a bazooka. And Gintoki definitively didn't want to have his house in ruin.

Shinpachi had given up evidently, because he haven't moved an ich for like ten minutes already, frozen in standing position with his mouth open wide.

"I'm only saying that... Ah! Gin-chan, move your smelly hand!"

"Your hand's smelly! Agh, it reeks of sukonbu, go away from me!"

The argument kept on, turning in a moment into a small fight between Gintoki and Kagura. Shinpachi who had returned to life after his little mind brake, tried to stop the duo but failed mercilessly, receiving some elbow punches in the gut and a hand in his hair pulling him hardly. Their yells echoed through the apartment. Then they stopped suddenly when they heard foreign voice.

"Would..."

"Eh...?" They cocked their head in unison.

"Would you finally shut the fuck up?! My head's killing me from your yelling! I thought you were gonna accept our request, fucking idiots!"

The woman who was quiet all this time, now was standing before them, panting, eyes blue and angry. Before Gintoki hadn't seen her face because she'd been hiding it the whole time but in this moment he could see her clearly. Long black hair with two cutely made pigtails remained him of someone.

"But you are the only one who's yelling, Hijikata-san" Sougo said with a smirk, evidently pleased with others reaction.

"Hijikata-san...? It's Hijikata-san?!" yelled Shinpachi with a pure shock. "But what happened? Why is he a girl?"

"We don't know yet, but we're working at it" said Kondo calmly. "And as I said before we're here to ask for help, Yorozuya."

"What, so he's a girl again? Oi, Gorilla, did those freaks came to earth again?" asked Gintoki picking his nose and completely ignoring what Kondo had said.

Hijikata also ignored everything, too pissed at what happened to her, and sat back on the couch. Then she pulled a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

"Gin-chan, does that mean that I will have to tear it up again? Oi, will I have to do it again?"

"Hey, no one asked you to tear up your own balls, you idiot."

When everyone settled down at last, Kondo returned to previous topic.

"So are you gonna help us, Yorozuya-san?" He asked looking into Gintoki's red eyes with hope and slight desperation. Even for a stupid gorilla like him it seemed too serious. Gintoki stayed still for a moment, deep in thought.

Kagura still was eating her sukonbu eyeing suspiciously Sougo who was staring back at her, bubble gum in his mouth.

"But what are we supposed to do, Kondo-san?" Shinpachi spoke after a while. "We can't magically turn him back."

"Unfortunately, we can't do that either. But we'll need you to do some research in Edo, maybe someone knows something. And there's also one thing." Kondo sniffed and then sobbed so much that he couldn't catch up to wipe all the tears which poured from his closed eyes. "Toshi can't stay at the barrack anymoreee!" He cried, throwing himself on Hijikata who was ending her fourth cigarette already. The sudden shock made her jump in her seat.

"I wonder why?" Gintoki's smirk pissed her off more. "What, afraid of some muscled idiots?"

"Who's afraid?! And I can defend myself, you perm head!" She yelled, pushing Kondo away from her, but he didn't budge even an inch.

"Yeah, lots of gorilla-like idiots trying to take advantage of you, sure you can" Gintoki teased as he wiped his finger on Kagura's red costume, staining it with a wax from his ear. "Do you even know how to hold a sword properly? I doubt it, with this body you can't do a shit."

"Oi, what did you say!"

If only Kondo wasn't holding her back with his steal grip still on her, she would definitively break some necks today. Not only Gintoki, Sougo too was making fun of her all day! And of course Yamazaki'd also get a serious beating just for seeing her in this state this morning!

"Toshi, he's right" said Kondo, when he finally released her. "We can't let others see you like this and you can't stay at barrack either. What do you think they say if they see a woman in a dojo? It's one of our prohibition, so what do you think they do if they see us breaking our own rules?" Seeing him so serious was weird, almost as he was out of character. But Hijikata knew better. This was the Kondo-san she respected and admired. "And of course after seeing you, they could have wet dream about yo..."

"Nope!"

"Aghh! Toshi!"

There was a muffed groan as a hand hit him straight in the head, making him slip out of the sofa.

Hijikata was panting once again. She buried her hand in a pocket to find a light and have a smoke for the umpteenth time this day. She was just so freaking stressed. Not everyone finds out that after waking up they have somewhere more flesh while something is missing.

"So as you already know, Danna, Hijikata needs a place to stay for some time starting today" said Sougo and he dig his shoe into Kondo's side just to make sure he passed out. "I think it's a good place for him to stay. We'll pay you, of course."

"Oi, since when you're nice to him, Souchiro-kun? And..."

"It's Sougo."

"And you're sure you don't want him at barracks, I don't know, to make him seppuku for breaking some shit worth rules he created himself?"

"As long as I would love to do this I have orders to follow" he said without care. "And he's a woman now, so it lacks all fun to humiliate him, but I can still have some fun after he change back."

"Since when you don't pick a fight with women, you sadist?" Kagura butted into the conversation. "We're fighting like everyday."

"Since when you classify as a woman, China?"

"What did you say?!"

"What you heard."

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Bring it on!"

Gintoki didn't give a fuck about Kagura when she threw herself at Sougo with bloodlust fists, nor about Shinpachi who was yelling at them to stop. He was too deep in his own thoughts to pay attention to some kids playing around. What was in his head was something what everyone his age seeks. Money.

Because he was going to earn a lot of money he would gladly let stay some people in his house. Even Mayora. And when he's in this state it was even simpler. Let's be honest, he's just a girl, what could go wrong?

"What are you looking at, you dick?" Growled Hijikata, when only for a second their eyesight crossed.

He didn't answered, just sighed.

Yeah, what could go wrong...?

When Sougo exited the room with still unconscious Kondo, the yorozuya trio was sitting quietly on the couch. The silence again spread around the room as they do nothing but look at each other.

"So... You're gonna stay here, right?" Like before, Shinpachi was the first to speak.

"I don't have really many options" Hijikata lit her cigarette and looked at him. "If Kondo-san wants me to stay here, I can't oppose, even though I don't like this idea. Anyway, except barracks I don't have a place to go."

She closed her eyes as she blew out a smoke.

In this form she couldn't do much, even go home. And maybe she once was changed into a women when those neuter weirdos shot them with some kind of laser, but her body was different now. Less fluffy and heavy. She saw herself in a mirror this morning but was too shocked to actually take a good look at herself, so she at least felt thinner than Tenko.

"Okey, I think we're done here" Gintoki get up and walked to a hall to put his boots on. "I'm going out for awhile."

"Gin-san, going to Pachinko again?" Shinpachi asked with slight disgust, slowly approaching the other male. "We should talk with Hijikata-san a little more, don't you think? How about a..."

"You two can talk with her, Patsuan. I have some shopping to do." He showed him an amount of money Sougo left him to some important things like new clothes for Hijikata and food. He hid it behind his yukata as he said, "She can't wander around town in this uniform, can she?"

* * *

After a quick talk, Shinpachi went to the kitchen to make a dinner. Kagura was chewing her sukonbu as always, and Hijikata was smoking, not knowing what else she could do or say. She was tired already. Just too much things happened at once.

"Mayora, how is it that you're not fat and ugly like the other time?"

"H-How should I know?" She replied, turning her blushing face to the side. Seriously, it wasn't like she choose to be like that back then. Furthermore, this show would be so cliched when everyone had a nice body as Ginko. And being a little overweight isn't bad, is it? And what the hell she was thinking about?!

Hijikata took another drag from her cigarette. She had more problems than thinking about her previous girly appearance.

Kagura decided not to speak anymore, which was good, until she saw Shinpachi came with food. She took from him a bowl happily and immediately dig in.

"Here" said Shinpachi as he passed her over a bowl of rice with some sauce on it. It didn't look too good, but she could manage. "We don't have a mayonnaise, though."

"It's fine."

"So, do you know why did you end up like this?" He sat next to Kagura. "Maybe you remember something...?"

"No, not really."

"Mm."

Gintoki came back an hour later with some bags in his hands. He entered living room to see his table moved and there was a futon spread in its place. The tv was on and everyone was watching it.

When Gintoki put the bags next to Hijikata, she looked at him first but then she went through them to see what he had bought her.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked while holding a pair of white cotton panties. The bag had a few more in. "You were supposed to buy me a yukata, you brainless idiot!"

She felt a big blush on her cheeks when Kagura looked at them and then smirked. Shinpachi on the other hand looked away, but his red ears were still in sight.

"You need some underwear. What, you didn't plan on wearing your old boxer, did you?" Gintoki snickered, seeing embarrassment on her face. He walked to her and pass her over the other bag. "Check this one."

She eyed him suspiciously, but did what he said. Her brow twitched as she grab a purple cloth.

"What the fuck is this?"

"A yukata. Yukata" he answered, getting annoyed.

"Where the fuck did you get this from?!" She got up and showed him it.

"Oh, you'll look good in this" said Kagura with bored expression, what only made Hijikata more angry. She had also a finger in her nose and with that she looked exactly like Gintoki. And she hated the bastard at the moment. She also hated this yukata. Who in the world would like to wear something with pigs' head on it?!

"Tsk. You should sometime pull that stick out of your ass, Mayora. It was just a joke. A joke!"

He took the yukata from Hijikata grasps and then throw another one at her, which landed on her head.

This time it had a dark color, just like her old yukata she was wearing as a men, but there were also many light pink and white flower in the bottom.

"I really hope it will do, because I don't wanna go back to that shop. Too many girly stuff and all."

"It's okay" she said. Actually, it was more than okay, but she wasn't going to say she liked it. "And get rid of that!"

She pointed at yukata Gintoki was still holding. He only smirked and said, "Don't worry. It'll go where it belongs."

He patted the cloth, going to the kitchen.

"Just throw it away!" She yelled after him.

She sat back at the couch and sent an angry gaze at the kids, who were watching them all this time. As they turn away, she dug in her pocket to find a lighter.

She wanted this all to end and just go to the barrack, have some sparring with others officers at dojo and then go wash herself and go sleep in her own futon. And beyond everything she just wanted her body back!

Suddenly something removed a cigarette from her mouth before she even lit it.

"Oi, don't smoke here. Do it outside."

Gintoki was standing before her with slightly disgusted expression. She knew he didn't like when someone was smoking near him and she often did it just to irritate him, but now she can endure. It was his house, after all.

Seeing that she wasn't going to reply, he said, "Okay, now is time to go do some researches."

"Researches?" Hijikata repeated, furrowing her brows as she followed him with her eyesight to the hall. "Aren't you going to just gamble? Megane said you do it all the time."

"Because it's true..." Shinpachi sighed.

"Oi, Gin-chan, if you're going out, can I go with you? I have to take Sadaharu for a walk."

"Kagura-chan, you can do it without Gin-san."

"But I want to have an eye on him, if he really went to pachinko."

"Would you be quiet for a moment?" Growled Gintoki, putting his boots on. "They hired us, so I'm going to do some of the job. You just stay and wait here."

"If it's a job, I'm also going" demanded Shinpachi as he got up from the sofa and he walked to Gintoki with Kagura and her giant dog.

Before they were gone, Shinpachi turn to a woman on a couch.

"Hijikata-san, I hope it won't take too much time. You can do whatever you want here." And he disappeared after glassy door.

She decided to smoke, and when she was looking for her light, an irritating voice reached her ears.

"Don't you dare touch my strawberry milk!"

"As If I'd drink something disgusting as this!"


	2. Chapter 2

It took me too long to write this. I hope I'll update the next chapters faster.  
Thanks for all the reviews and favs. I wasn't expecting to have them that many, so I really appreciate that :)

* * *

Hijikata wasn't a patient person. She hated waiting and she was sick of doing nothing. So sitting pointless alone at the Yorozuya place was getting on her nerve. Gintoki and kids were outside, probably at job, and they tell her just to sit tight and wait. Maybe she wouldn't be that mad if Kondo was there in time. He was supposed to meet her an hour ago to talk about the situation she was in.

It have been already three days since she changed, and during this time Yorozuya haven't found anything helpful. This was really frustrating, because she longed to come back to her normal form as soon as possible. Moreover, Kondo-san asked her to not going outside for some time. She knew he was afraid that someone would hurt her, but with her help, they'd find the answers faster. She was a policemen for fuck's sake, so she knew what to do. Making her sit here all day wasn't solving anything.

She leaned back on the couch, sighing hardly. She was mad at Gintoki for underestimating her. When he told her she would get in their way, she wanted to tear out his private areas. Just how much useless did he think she was?! They should be lucky Shinpachi calmed her down, saying that it's still too dangerous for her to go out and that they have to make sure the surrounding are safe enough for her, otherwise she would really hurt that perm idiot.

Something vibrated in her sleeve. She was surprised first, but then she remembered she was wearing yukata Gintoki bought her a few days ago. She didn't expected it to be so tight and so well fitting at the same time. She wasn't fat like the other time so she looked good in it. Hell, she knew she looked good in it, she saw herself properly in a mirror the first evening she stayed here. And she could tell why Gintoki was having fun of her all this time. She was actually very thin, so no wonder he was saying all this stuff about not being able to hold a sword and all. What the hell happened to her muscles?! She was a very muscled man, so why she's so fragile as a woman?

"Yeah?" She picked up her cellphone really pissed off. She didn't want to talk to anybody, she was just so mad at everything.

"Toshi, you're ok? I'm sorry I'm not there by now, but we're too busy with some aliens. Can you believe they climbed at the terminal again? As if they don't have anything else to- Oi! Sougo, put that bazooka down!"

"Mmm..." Hijikata murmured as she rolled her eyes. Sougo was doing something unnecessary. Typical.

"Toshi, I'll call you later. Maybe I could be there in two hour, so just wait."

"It's not like I have something else to do but wait," she muttered, getting up from the couch to stretch her legs a little. She moved to the window and opened it to have a smoke.

"Oi, don't be like that. I know it's hard for you to not work, but-"

Hijikata heard a big explosion and then Kondo-san was yelling Sougo's name. There was a sweat on her face, did Sougo blow them all up?

"Oi, Alien-san! Do you hear me? Get off! What would your mother say if she saw you destroying this?"

"Mommy is disappointed..."

"What the hell!" Hijikata snapped with slight disgust as she hung up.

She hid her cellphone in her sleeve and took a drag from her cigarette. Shit, leaving Shinsengumi in their hands wasn't the best idea, but she should believe they wouldn't do something more stupid.

Hijikata was finishing her second cigarette when Yorozuya came back. She threw a butt through the window and after closing it, she went toward Gintoki, who was lying on a sofa. She noticed some blood on his clothes and skin.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," he replied, evidently angry. "Just some motherfuckin' police officers couldn't do their job properly."

"Kondo-san was running around the town in alien's costume," Shinpachi explained with a sigh.

"And he was shouting something like 'Alien-kun, come back home with mommy!' all the time." Kagura mimicked what was Kondo doing, and then she cover her smirk with a hand. "Heh, who did he want to trick, anyone would know it was Gorilla, uh-uh."

"Seriously, I wonder when they stop acting as if they were still middle school students. So annoying."

"Gin-san, like you're the one to talk," said Shinpachi with bored expression. "And you should stop saying those things about them, at least endure yourself in front of Hijikata-kun."

"Don't care."

He got up, and then disappeared in a bathroom.

Hijikata tighten her fists. She knew Kondo-san lacked a common sense and often was being made fun of, but he had also many advantages. Like his big heart or the way he followed the bushido. Besides the time when Otae was in his view, he was a great person.

"Oh, by the way, Hijikata-kun, Kondo-san gave us some folders. He said, he'll come tomorrow, because there's some work he should take care of."

"Ah," she muttered as he pass her over the paperwork.

It was good to feel she could do something useful at last. Even though she only had to check Yamazaki's report and some other stuff, she was glad. And if only Kondo-san would have sent her the paperwork once in a while she could know how's the baracks and of course she wouldn't be so bored here.

Hijikata immediately started going through all the documents. There wasn't a lot of them, mostly the crimes causes and also one page with Tama's name all over it. So Yamazaki still had a crush on that robot girl of Yorozuya... At least the whole report wasn't about her like the other times.

"I'm borrowing your desk, Yorozuya," Hijikata said, when she heard Gintoki exited bathroom. She immediately moved to the desk and sat behind it, documents in her hand. She wanted to read them all properly this time and give some advices how they could improve their work.

"But don't sit there for too long, I don't want to have my chair smell like mayo when I'm working."

"Working my ass," she snorted.

"It's enough to have your smell in the bathroom..."

Hijikata looked up suddenly. She wasn't sure she heard right, because Gintoki said that so quiet, but didn't he just said that the bathroom smell like her? But was it good or bad?

Hijikata sighed, she wasn't going to ask him what did he mean, it was Gintoki anyway. She was sure he was just complaining.

She looked at him once again, he was wearing his pajamas, but he didn't even wipe his hair, the water was dripping from them. She wondered how being wet they seemed to be so fluffy at the same time. Were they so soft as they looked?

Her fingers twitched as if they wanted to check that. She just sighed again and rested her head on the desk, feeling tired already.

And was that her imagination or the room got suddenly warmer?

* * *

"Eh? I can go with you?"

Hijikata lowered the chopsticks with rice and stared at Gintoki and Kagura, who were sitting on the other couch, eating their portion.

Kagura stuffed her mouth with a big amount of rice and then she started to speak, almost spitting this all. "Oi, don't think we need you or something, Mayora. It's just for the time Shinpachi's out of Edo, uh-uh."

Kagura, busy with the food, didn't even wait for a reply, so Hijikata didn't bother herself to give her one. Instead, she busied herself with the food. Maybe she could do some paperwork before they go. Last time she couldn't stay focused for more than five minutes, so some of the report was still unread.

Suddenly she felt something nudging her in an arm. She looked in that way immediately to see a bokken and Gintoki's hand on the end of it. When Gintoki send her a certain move with his head, she grabbed the wooden sword and looked into red eyes.

"Aren't you attached to it? You know, I can fight with my old sword."

"And hurt someone in process? Don't make me laugh." Gintoki picked his nose as he looked at Hijikata with his fish dead eyes. Then he disappeared somewhere to return with the same sword as she was holding. "Get up, we're going outside. I don't want you to destroy my living room by accident."

"Ehh? What are you talking abo-"

He cut her in the middle of the sentence by grabbing her arm and leading her out of the apartment. She barely put on her sandals by the way and Gintoki grabbed his boots, but didn't put them on at the moment.

Kagura was shouting something behind them, but she couldn't catch a word and she wondered why Gintoki didn't want to bring her along.

"Okay, now when there's noone to disturb us, I can finally see if you can do anything," Gintoki said, now wearing his boots, as they were on a lea near a river. She knew this place pretty good, mainly because Sougo has been coming here to have a nap, and she was always there to yell at him.

"Don't treat me like I was a girl, who can't even raise a sword," she snapped, feeling irritated.

"You're a girl, actually..."

"Shut up! I was a police officer, don't think I can't beat you!"

"Indeed, you were." Gintoki's smirk grew wider as his position changed a little bit. His grip on a bokken tightened and he led it in front of himself, pointing at Hijikata. "Come at me, Ms. police officer. We're outside, so you can use as much strength as you can bring out."

"My skills haven't change a bit, so watch it, bastard."

"They haven't? Then I'm not holding back."

When their swords crossed, Gintoki was taken aback by Hijikata's power. He didn't use a lot of strength, but for her to nearly overcome him... He snorted with a slight smile and then strained his muscles a little. As he thought, she started to shivering a bit, so he withdrew his bokken to pay attention at her legs. When he stroke a blow at them, she neatly jumped up and then hit him in an arm with one of her legs.

Hijikata landed on the ground with a triumphal smile, when suddenly she felt a pain on her chest and she was send a few inch back by Gintoki kick.

"Tired already?" He asked, and Hijikata noticed they were in their starting position.

She looked at him, narrowing her eyes. The drops of sweat started forming itself under her v-shaped bang, she could feel it. "No way, it was only a warm-up."

"Good."

* * *

"You're not that bad as I thought."

She smiled lightly to herself, hearing those words. At last, she could show that bastard that she wasn't weak. By the way, what way he thinking? That she couldn't fight, having that big experience in real battles?

In truth she also thought that she was a weakling, she felt like one, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

They were resting under the tree. The fight ended with Gintoki's win of course, but she wasn't disappointed at all. The perm bastard was too damn strong, she knew she barely kept up with him as a man, so let alone in this form.

"I told you, you moron," she replied, getting up.

And when Gintoki got up from the ground as well, they headed back home.


End file.
